I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
