Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
