I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
