ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
