just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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