gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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