my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
