Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
