that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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