Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
