similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
where are you?
Hypothermia
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize