I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
