I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
