he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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