Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
