I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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