I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Can I color on your dick again?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
