Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize