just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Barsexuality is the new black.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
