im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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