Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
