so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
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