I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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