I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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