we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
