Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
