You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
did i walk over a car last night?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize
