I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
