just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize