So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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