Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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