I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize