Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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