idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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