wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
