I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
