We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
