plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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