im gay
i know
yea but for you.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
