She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
