i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
