I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
