I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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