i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
