Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The beers last night were like the tears from god
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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