Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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