I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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