There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
