fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
