Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
