i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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