One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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