Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
