She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
