Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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