No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
