Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
