is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
