if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
he just fucked me for my cheese..
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
