After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
