so explain again why im purple
no
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
