What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
